Hi, I’m Rae and I’m a new writer here at TV Is My Pacifier. I’m going to write the weekly reviews for Teen Wolf. My husband Hyrum and I have been married for almost three years, and we have two adorable dogs running around our home. I know that in most people’s bios, you’ll read, “When I’m not (doing my regular job), I do (whatever),” but I’d like to say when I’m not watching TV, I work as a Marketing Associate for a small business. I watch almost every network comedy and a handful of dramas. My favorite regular season comedies are How I Met Your Mother, Happy Endings, and Community, and my favorite dramas are Grey’s Anatomy, Glee, and Once Upon a Time. This summer, I’m watching Teen Wolf (duh), Pretty Little Liars, Dallas, The Bachelorette, and The Glee Project. My favorite shows of all time (or my lifetime) are Arrested Development, Lost, and Friday Night Lights, to name a few.
I can’t remember the exact show that started my TV obsession, probably because I was far too young. As a tween, I do remember going out to dinner with my mom and giving her all the details about every single plot line on Roswell, one of my favorite shows at the time. For those of you who want to do the math, I’m only 24 now. Back then, I was definitely the only kid I knew that could give you the names of even the most obscure television actors. Now that I’m an adult, I still watch everything I can on TV. I enjoy movies, too, but TV will always be my first love.
Now, jump with me to read my recap/review of last night’s Teen Wolf!
The fifth episode, titled “Venomous,” begins in the locker room, where Jackson tests his newfound strength at the bench press and Danny spots him. Danny leaves Jackson at the bench to try once more. Again, his strength is perfectly human, and he struggles to lift the overloaded weight bar until Erica helps pulls it off his chest and slips a hand around his throat.
Erica brings Jackson to Derek’s were-house, where our new alpha questions him about the full moon. Jackson claims he can prove that nothing happened. Derek instead feeds him some essence of Kanima, while Erica and Isaac hold him down until he is paralyzed. Boyd is nowhere to be found in this scene.
As Erica and Derek exit, Isaac hangs back and strong-arms Jackson into telling Sheriff Stilinski that he and his father weren’t arguing the night that he was murdered. Shortly after, Stiles scrambles into the classroom to tell Scott about Jackson’s confession. Boy, would I love to be a criminal in Beacon County, where all pertinent case information is free to trickle down to the Sheriff’s loveable but bumbling idiot son and all his friends. Scott tells Stiles he already knows and points to Isaac, who sits a few desks ahead.
I then take a break from stopping and starting the video after each scene to write this recap and employ the full screen mode so I can enjoy the incredible new theme song. It’s so hot, I just want to pour black goo all over myself and scratch it off in a rhythmic sequence.
In the hallway, Stiles tells Scott that the Kanima is a legendary were-jaguar that hunts murderers. Does the prefix “were” imply that the Kanima is a human that has the ability to turn into a jaguar? Scott posits that the Kanima could still be after Stiles. This is also puzzling, because in episode four, Stiles is paralyzed by the Kanima juice but isn’t killed, perhaps because it was frightened by its own reflection in the glass door, but we all know the Kanima has a penchant for shattering the medium in which it sees itself.
Scott and Stiles pass Danny in the hallway, who tells Jackson that he might have a way to get the missing footage from the full moon. He then exits, and Jackson uses his now amplified senses to overhear Erica telling Isaac that Derek wants them to test Lydia. Isaac then repeats the obvious, that she’ll die by their furry little mitts if she turns out to be the Kanima.
In Finstock’s class, Jackson tells Scott and Stiles that the pack tested him and now wants to test Lydia. Stiles explains that Lydia can’t be the Kanima, but we have to take this with a grain of salt because he’s in love with her. No later than he utters the words “she’s fine” does Lydia slip into a hallucination that she’s in the room alone with Peter and he’s flipping over desks on either side of the otherwise unencumbered aisle to get to her. When she wakes up, she’s crying and wimpering in front of the class. The unnamed hottie she met in front of the counselor’s office last week is there and gives her a sympathetic smile. Stiles discovers that she’s written “SOMEONE HELP ME” on the board backwards.
In Chemistry, another class where the entire cast is together, Scott and Stiles plan to protect Lydia from Isaac and Erica. Harris pairs Scott with Erica, who tells Scott she knows he and Allison aren’t broken up. Lydia attempts to show Allison that Erica’s coming onto Scott, but she’s completely stonefaced. Just as Erica’s about to wolf out on Scott, they’re asked to switch lab stations.
As though they’re speed dating, Scott moves to Lydia’s table and Stiles moves to Isaac’s, where they commiserate over their crushes on Lydia until Isaac threatens to kill her. The bell dings, and they switch again. Now Isaac is with Lydia, Scott with Stiles, and Erica with Allison. Erica banters with Allison about how she knows that Allison and Scott won’t stand the test of time. Erica’s claws come out, and she digs them into Allison’s leg when Harris’s bell dings again. He tells the students that their finished product should be a crystal and that they can eat it. Of course, Lydia’s is covered in Kanima preserves. Scott screams for her to stop but can’t explain in front of the whole class, so she eats it and nothing happens. We then see Derek waiting outside the school like the child predator he is.
Scott, Stiles, and Allison call a secret meeting to fret over whether Derek will kill Lydia and how they can prevent it. Allison suggests they consult the bestiary and thinks she might have a translator. Scott agrees with the idea but asks that they let him fight their battles since he has healing powers. Allison proceeds to pull a crossbow out of her purse. What kind of school is this?
In the counselor’s office, Bianca Lawson’s character gives Lydia a Rorschach test, to which she answers that every ink blot is a butterfly. Honestly, I’m really sick of seeing Lawson in everything; she’s not that pretty or good at acting, even by MTV or ABC Family’s standards. She then holds up another card, and Lydia sees Peter’s burned and hairless head but doesn’t let it phase her, claiming that the image is another butterfly. The annoyed counselor puts down the card, which looks like a house cat to me, and tells Lydia she would have answered “wolf,” because she clearly knows what’s going on in town.
In the library, Matt tells Jackson and Danny that the person who altered the tape was someone who must have been able to both get into Jackson’s house undetected and edit the footage. Matt leaves, and Jackson then sees Stiles walk into the library with Lydia, his prime suspect.
Meanwhile, Allison brings the bestiary to the counselor, who reads that the Kanima is also controlled by the moon, but “seeks a friend.” Right, because the best way I know how to make friends is to paralyze them with my bodily fluids.
On the lacrosse field, Scott looks for Derek but must instead confront Boyd, who now wears the leather jacket standard to the pack uniform. Derek shows up and implies that Isaac and Erica have been charged with the task of killing Lydia. He tells Scott that an Alpha’s bite can sometimes change someone into a creature other than a wolf. Scott argues that Lydia could be immune, which Derek says has never happened before, which means Jackson is a creature also.
We jump back to the library, where Danny and Matt process the data and look through Matt’s photos, in which he notices that Scott’s eyes reflect light back through the camera lens.
Back on the field, Scott tells Derek that he thinks Lydia transferred her immunity to Jackson. He explains that though he wanted to persuade to spare Lydia, he had a backup plan. We see Isaac and Erica enter the library, but Lydia is under the protection of Stiles, Allison, and Jackson, who drag her away from their usual study spot.
Elsewhere, Scott runs to find them but is stopped by Finstock, who questions him about torn equipment, which he claims belongs to Danny. He runs through the hall with the damaged lacrosse pads, and Matt snaps a photo of him. His glowing eyes set off the camera again.
The awkward study group has now arrived at Scott’s house, wherein Stiles creates his own Fort Knox. Jackson pulls Lydia into Scott’s bedroom for a private conversation. While agonizing over a head and neck ache, he asks her about his house key. Lydia throws a fit, complaining about how much she’s been through and Jackson’s lack of concern. He notices her forehead sweating and hears her heart racing and accuses her of lying.
At the library, Scott shows Danny the pads, but Danny explains that he wasn’t wearing them when he was tending goal. Allison calls Scott and tells him he needs to get to his house now. On Danny’s computer screen, we see Jackson sit up in bed and look at the camera with bright yellow eyes.
At Scott’s house, the pack waits outside, and Allison considers risking her relationship with Scott to call her dad for backup. In the bedroom, Jackson continues to accuse Lydia of sneaking into his house and tampering with the footage, but she plays dumb and hands over the key with tears in her eyes. He discovers that she’s kept the key on a chain around her neck this whole time and kisses her. Mid-make-out, Lydia slides her hand under Jackson’s collar, and we see Kanima scales on his neck.
Downstairs, Stiles convinces Allison to shoot the pack when Isaac enters and starts cracking skulls. Upstairs, Lydia hears the commotion and leaves Jackson in the bedroom to transform. Allison tells her to go back in there, and she sees that Jackson has climbed out the window. Lydia locks herself in the bathroom and calls the police. Allison shuts herself in Scott’s bedroom and sees Kanima jelly on the window. Erica breaks into the bedroom, and Allison fires an arrow after she’s had enough of her taunts. Erica catches it, but it’s covered in venom, and she’s paralyzed.
Outside, Derek and Boyd listen to the fight in the house when the door opens and Isaac and Erica are thrown out. Our teen wolf emerges with Stiles and Allison, who Derek dubs as “Scott’s pack,” when they hear police sirens and footsteps on the roof. They look up to see the Kanima, which they’ve figured out is Jackson, scurry off the roof. He slinks up to a car with an Einstein bumper sticker and holds his hand up to the driver’s side window. The driver holds up a gloved hand against his, and he scampers off, perhaps because he saw his own reflection again. The car leaves also, and my guess is that the driver was Grandpa Argent or Harris.
Tune in next week on Monday, July 2, on MTV at 10/9c for the next new episode, “Frenemy.”