If We Controlled Your Remote… 8/13/17

Have you ever been at a loss as to what to watch? Too many shows to pick from? We’re here to give you our opinions on what we feel is worth watching. Check it out and then let us know in the comments below what you’re choosing for tonight!

Phoebe’s Choice

This is my Remote pick as well as a recap of last week in case you missed it. So far, each season of Rick & Morty has had a slightly different series of ridiculous scenes laid under the opening music, some of which appeared in the episodes, some which are just there to highlight what a whacky multiverse the show takes place in. After two mediocre episodes in season three, I took note of the opening last week. I shrugged and sighed as I watched Rick & Morty tied to a giant piano with the hammers smashing down destroying other versions of themselves, thinking “Looks cool, but when does the writing start to match the extreme, the morbid, and the weird? Is Dan Harmon even working on this anymore?”

The episode opened with Rick calling Morty into the garage to show him he’d turned himself into a pickle. No arms or legs. Just his face on a standard-sized pickle. Morty was nonplussed. We all knew as Beth walked out to rally the family into the car to go to family therapy that this was just a ploy to avoid talking about feelings. Morty noticed the needle set up to fall into Pickle Rick set to a timer for after the rest of the family left. Rick insisted it had nothing to do with his pickleness, but Beth snatched it anyway. A few minutes later, a cat wanderd into the garage and knocked Rick off the workbench. Next a flash storm washed him into a sewer.

But being a pickle was no major setback for the smartest man in the universe. He attacked a cockroach by biting its head till it died. He then used the brain and body of the insect to build himself an exoskeleton. Luring in and slaughtering the rats in the sewer enabled him to build a more agile exoskeleton, and he was soon flushing himself up someone’s drain, with a tiny but lethal rat-borg body built around his pickle core. It was as magnificent and ridiculous as it sounds!

Back in therapy, instead of discussing the recent bad behavior of Morty & Summer, the conversation fast turned to Rick and the drama which he brings to the family. Susan Sarrandon guest starred as the shrink, Dr. Wong. (“Racist name…” Beth quipped.) The therapist tried to explore why Beth refused to accept that Rick lied to her about the purpose of the needle.

Meanwhile Rick emerged up to the surface, only to be trapped in a highly secured facility of some sort. Within minutes, Pickle Rick had killed all 34 of their armed guards. This forced the mysterious evil bad guy who runs this facility to unleash a mercenary he held prisoner: Jaguar!! He seemed loosely based off Batman mashed up with any 80s movie role Schwarzenegger played. However, he had to be blackmailed into attacking Rick; the bad guy running the facility told him he would release his daughter if he killed the pickle. Jaguar and Rick had an incredible shoot-out until they made friends, bonding over their common enemy. They were then able to quickly escape and destroy the facility in the process.

Rick made it to the therapy session as it was about to end with “eight minutes to live” unless he got that needle. Beth calmly made her father tell her the truth about the purpose of the needle. Rick came clean: he wanted to avoid the session because he thought it was a crock of shit. Beth saw his point, and Dr. Wong went on to wrap up the affair with a lengthy monologue. Beth and Rick reconciled on the ride home, but it was very awkward. Their camaraderie in this exchange was tinged with sexual tension. Apparently, nothing is off-limits on this show.

The credits roll, but as is the standard on Rick & Morty, they smash-cut back into one final joke. I was shocked to see them tied to the giant piano about to have their heads smashed in. They did use that bit! For a single punchline?!?! Just as they were about to die, Jaguar swooped in and killed the rascal who was playing the piano. When Morty asked for an explanation, Rick replied, “That, Morty? Is WHY you don’t go to therapy.” I feel redeemed, and I’m back in the saddle waiting for this week.

On tonight’s episode, “Vindicators 3: The Return Of Worldender,” if you like superhero stories, don’t miss it! Trust them!

Catch the all-new episode tonight on Cartoon Network (Adult Swim) at 11:30/10:30c.

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