If We Controlled Your Remote… 3/4/18

Have you ever been at a loss as to what to watch? Too many shows to pick from? We’re here to give you our opinions on what we feel is worth watching. Check it out and then let us know in the comments below what you’re choosing for tonight!

Phoebe’s Choice

After the super long hiatus, Ash vs. Evil Dead is finally back, folks. And if chop ’em up slapstick gore-fests starring Bruce Campbell are your thing, then your fix is on Starz Network Sunday nights this spring!

At the end of last season, Ash had defeated the demon trying to take over earth with the Necronomicon. As such, season three opened with Ash happily opening a hardware/dildo store in his hometown of Elk Grove, where he was finally hailed as a hero. But even as the store was having its Grand Opening day, a girl was on an “Antique Evaluator” show asking for the worth of the book, bound in human skin, she found “in the mud.” The appraiser of course read from it, and wham bam thank you ma’am, the unholy powers of darkness had been reawakened. Almost immediately, (a freshly blonde) Ruby showed up to claim the magical Book of the Dead that she helped write eons ago.

Same time that this was going on, the runes that showed Pablo’s possession through season two had returned, and at the Elk Grove high school, the team mascot had seemingly been possessed and was harassing two girls with detention. At the celebration for his store’s opening, he was confronted by former stripper Candace “Candy” Barr, who claimed to be his wife “from that one night” years ago.

Ruby performed a blood ritual with the Necronomicon (which almost made me and her both puke) as Candice informed Ash that not only did they have a daughter together, but that she was at the high school under duress and they must save her at once. They found her and her friend Rachel in the music classroom. But sad thing was – Rachel had already become a Deadite, who launched into intense instrument warfare, attacking them with every musical implement in the room. In the midst of these attacks, Candice died. Finally, though, Ash stomped her face to pieces with the super sharp strings of a harp. The gore factor here was “over-the-top-sliced-to-jelly-face-9.9-outta-10.” This show is not for the weak of heart.

After they slayed Deadite Rachel, the mascot reappeared just in time to get killed by Kelly, who had tracked them down along with her new pal, and Ash devotee, ancient Sumerian: Dalton. The gang was all reunited, and Ash decided to light up the stashed doobie he’d been saving, which he promptly offered to his 16-year-old shell-shocked daughter Brandy Barr.

On tonight’s episode, “Booth Three,” Ruby dons a new disguise in order to bond with Brady after she gives birth to something evil; Kelly comes back with a friend who leads the search for The One; Ash comes to realize that his daughter is being targeted by evil forces.

To see what disguise Ruby takes on, tune in to Starz at 9/8c.

I’ll also be watching Last Week Tonight with John Oliver.

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