If We Controlled Your Remote… 6/13/18

Have you ever been at a loss as to what to watch? Too many shows to pick from? We’re here to give you our opinions on what we feel is worth watching. Check it out and then let us know in the comments below what you’re choosing for tonight!

Phoebe’s Choice

This year’s version of Archer, Archer: Danger Island, has been an exciting whirlwind that is now sadly almost done. Tonight is the finale, and we have still not seen a hint of what might be going on in the “irl” world that the characters started in. Archer has been in a coma, and we’re in the second ring of Hell in his subconsciousness presumably. Last week’s penultimate episode started with Fuchs, née Cyril Figgis, leader of a Nazi troop seeking the magic idol the natives presumably have, discovering one of their men had been taken by the cannibals. They decided to call in a platoon of Stormtroopers as reinforcements.

Pam and Archer overheard that planning, so they retreated to the village and started to get them ready to fight the Nazis. After a bit of the training, Mallory showed up with Ray, Manu, Cheryl, & Crackers the Parrot. The natives thought that Cheryl was their Goddess “Kalua.” The Nazi Stormtroopers arrived with a powder that was a mix of painkillers/meth & cocaine. They all got zonked out of their f’n minds. Meanwhile, so did Pam, who was licking a frog while she trained with the cannibals. The drugs secreted from the frog enabled her to craft a crossbow from scratch.

Mallory drank a “Phlegm Sangria” as bullets zipped by when the Nazis actually attacked. She was rubbing it in Archer’s face the she was going to go find the Idol while he was distracted fighting Nazis, when her drink was shot by one on the hundreds of bullets zinging past her. She then took the gun from Archer and annihilated the German mortar battalion in about 4 seconds. After that, Archer’s crazy tactical “Battle of Endor” styled tactical approach turned out to work perfectly. Until Fuchs showed up in a Mecha suit equipped with automatic guns. Just then the old villager lady with no teeth dropped the last trap – a Return of the Jedi styled log with spikes on it that smashed Mecha-Fuchs deep into the left field of the jungle island a half mile away.

As things closed out, we saw that Fuchs was still alive and that Cheryl had finally made peace with the fact that oysters were testicles on the menu of cannibals & she dug in.

I read an interview with Adam Reed recently, and it sounds like Season 10 next year might not be the end of Archer. There is yet hope. No matter how long the show may endure, this season has been an instant classic that I think a lot of people are missing.

On tonight’s episode, “A Discovery,” Archer and the gang enter a deadly temple in search of an even deadlier treasure.
See how the season ends tonight on FXX at 10/9c.

I’ll also be watching that righteous c*nt whom I adore on Full Frontal with Samantha Bee and the ever impressive Syfy adaptation The Expanse.

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